Hello Everyone. I appreciate you visiting the site and reading my blog; it’s good to see those pretty eyes again
Hello 2024, I know, I was supposed to do a blog every week, but, you know, life happened. Not really life, I’ll be honest; just the fact that my views don’t do well is really demoralizing, especially when even people I know don’t read my blog. Some people I know would even call me “China, not Chinese,” but when I get excited and be like, Aww, you read my blog, then they go, No, I’m like, is that whining? But nevertheless, I should never let that get to me. I really want to do better this year, and I hope I do better. Maybe not blogging every week, but maybe once or twice a month.
2024, I can’t complain. I thank God for all he has done for me. I started this journey of independence in April 2023, and it’s almost been a year, and I’m doing pretty well. Yeah, at first I had challenges, but they were nothing I could not deal with, thanks to God and my other half. I would be honest, I miss home sometimes, but when I remember how I was losing myself being there, I’m actually happy I took the step and left my house. At least now I know how to pay bills, and it kind of made me more responsible and accountable. I don’t really want to talk about my family matters as much as it’s itching my throat, but I’ll just hold it in. Instead, I’ll vent about my workplace, which has turned toxic and is affecting me mentally.
So towards the end of 2023, I started losing interest in my job. My boss started making me feel like the tasks I do are irrelevant, and we’re not bringing in sales. In my mind, I would wonder: did this lady employ me to be a marketer or to drive sales? But all of a sudden, she would say it’s a small team; everyone has to be involved in sales, and my face automatically goes “huh.”.
Well I’m aggressively looking for a new job because October this would make it 3 years I have been with the company and honestly I am not growing in my career at all, I’m supposedly crm and there is no tool we are using that I can say okay yes I learnt how to use this from this company and add to my cv instead the little skill I learnt on my own she would expect me to pass it on to my colleagues.
The height of it all is how she talks about her staff to all her family members. Y’all know I added some weight and I lost all that weight as well because I needed to go back to my normal size. That’s how one of my boss’s friends came to the office and started making the statement, “I heard you used to be big. What happened?” I was automatically irritated, like, Why is my weight a topic of discussion? Where I drew the line and told myself I needed to leave that place this year was when she came and invited her famous brother-in-law from the UK, who has managed and built several multimillion-dollar companies from scratch, to come and do a one-sided appraisal for us and her staff because she never has the balls to have tough conversations. That’s how this man started asking personal questions; fine, I didn’t have a problem with that. Where I switched off from listening to him is where he said I look like someone weighed down by problems, and it’s stopping me from shining or whatever. In my mind, I was like, WTF? What do they discuss about us, and I told myself enough is enough—I’m not gaining anything from here; I don’t have health insurance, no benefits, no pension, no employee discount when we shop from the website—absolutely nothing! So my prayer and dream this year is to move to a properly structured company where all these things have been put in place, and I know God will open that door for me. I’ll try and see if I can attach the voice memo from the so-called appraisal I had because I recorded the conversation I had with him.
So that’s what’s been going on with my year so far. My job and workplace have been draining me mentally and physically. Just some days ago, I found myself in the toilet crying. No, that’s not me; I need to leave.
Have you had any experiences with toxic bosses and toxic workplaces? Please feel free to share in the comment section.
With that, we have come to the end of this blog post. Thank you so much for reading to this point. I hope I was able to keep your eyes glued to your screen.
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It’s China not Chinese ❤️🖤💜
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